Saturday, November 3, 2007

Take a Walk on the Wild Side

Had a lovely evening out last night. Bought tickets to see Jack Hanna, and had a pretty darn good time. We arrived and noticed that we were some of the only people not over 65 or under 12, or with someone over 65 or under 12. I think we were more excited than most of them anyway.

The show was fun and included lots of animals even I had never heard of. *gasp*
He even brought out a cheetah, which was amazing!!!!!

We were going to try to name drop or use our feminine wiles (young bodies) to get a backstage tour, but by the time we were able to talk to Jack, they were packing up to move on to their next destination full of people over 65 and under12.

But we did meet him. EEEEEEEEEE. And he took a picture with us and also gave us autographs. The strangest part was that while we were taking the picture, he had his hand on my ass the whole time. I bet we really could have employed those wiles. Then he stopped us on our way out to tell us the many amazing things we could do besides veterinary school. Finally! Someone who agrees with us! He was a freaking art major in college.

But yeah, whole evening outing was a blast!

Thursday, November 1, 2007

Fear of Drowning

One more for today. This one is on a much more serious note, so if you read my blog just for the snarky ones, go ahead and skip this.

Halloween is a big campus event, and this year it coincided with Homecoming, so parties were numerous. Becky, the Boy and I dressed up (girls in our slutty-best) and went to an apartment party that people in Becky's drama club were hosting. Now, I really enjoy these people, and have had great fun with them in the past, which is why I hope that nights occurances don't ruin future outings with them for me.

It was a college party, so there was plenty to drink, but I made one vodka and soda and sucked on that for about two hours of the night. I had eaten a big lunch, and a small dinner, but party food always gets me salivating, so I had some of that as well.

The night was full of mingling and madness, and I had a nice time talking with all sorts of new people, not knowing that this was probably mistake number one. Becky and the Boy also mingled and I was often left to my own conversations, which is totally fine with me.

After I finished drink #1, I decided I would make something else. I didn't feel drunk at all, and not knowing how late it was, thought that it would be nice to have one more. When the party broke up, I had only had about half of it, and I felt bad for not finishing something, so I brought it with me. Likely another mistake.

The Boy and I walked home, and here is where things get shady. I started not remembering things all the sudden, slurred my speech, started leaving my room for no reason, and finally started talking about things I had no business talking about, some of which wasn't even true. Then I started to cry, and I couldn't stop myself, and I kept talking but it made less and less sense. I guess I kept talking and doing things, but I was completely blacked out. I had no control of myself at all. I guess the Boy made me lie down and then I passed out, but I really remember none of this.

The next day, not only did I feel horrible about what had happened, but I was also constantly dizzy. No headache, no stomach ache, or any other of my usual hangover symptoms.

None of it made sense. I only had a drink and a half. I had eaten. I wasn't hungover in the usual sense. I had no control over myself. Something was wrong.

I am pretty darn sure that I was drugged that night. It scares me to death that I had no control, and I am not sure what would have happened to me if the Boy wasn't with me. At first, I didn't want to tell him or anyone what had happened. I didn't want to believe it myself, and I feared his reaction. After I eventually did explain to him what I thought had happened, he told me more of what I had done and how that makes a lot of sense. Originally he hadn't believed me that night when I told him that I didn't know what was happening to me because I had only had two drinks. He thought I had just been so drunk that I had forgotten that I had done a bunch of shots. I know I was lucid until after I made the second drink.

It is hard for me now because I know that those same people will be at other parties. One guy that I spent quite awhile talking to and who was there while I was making drink #2 goes to another school, so I assumed I would never see him again. But now he is coming for another friend's party. I know I can't just be scared of everyone now, but it took one slip up, that was all. Somewhere along the line I did something stupid, and I could have been raped because of it.

I talked with my roommates about it, and I think that two of them really don't believe that this is what happened. They just sat there and told me all the other things it could have been. One of my other roommates just said nothing, but one seemed to accept that this might have really occurred. I understand that no one wants to believe that this could happen to someone they know, but it is hard knowing that they don't want to believe it enough to actually not believe you.

Maybe I am wrong, and that I just somehow got really drunk on my own. But I really do believe that this happened to me. I wish someone would just tell me they believe me. I am not even sure that the Boy really believes. He is angry that even though he was there, something like that could still happen, but now, "for his own piece of mind" he seems to be trying to tell me who it could and couldn't have been. He is also trying to get me to not go out. It is just hard when people don't understand.

It is something that is hard for me to deal with, but I do feel lucky that nothing else happened to me. Now it just comes down to believing in myself and not focusing too much on the possibilities.

Choke on a Cock

I really do want to get into this blog thing, but honestly, when I come home from class and exams and homework, do I really want to sit down an write something? Usually Food Network or very shallow reality shows win this battle. But I have had some very interesting things happen lately.

There has been this new guy in my life. No, I am not saying that I am replacing the boy...not even close. This guy is in one of my classes and just happens to be in my discussion. One day, I come home from discussion to find an email from someone I don't know that says, "I am that guy in Asian Myth that asks all those questions. Want to be friends." Personally, I am not a fan of this approach because after like 8 weeks of class, he had never once even said hello, and now he just looks like a facebook creeper.

At first I was a little afraid that it was this obnoxious Russian, who I can't stand, but upon further investigation I discovered that it was this Asian that always sits with a pack of other Asians. Usually, I would just ignore the request or say no, but I was intrigued due to the fact that on that very evening in class I had actually thought to myself, "That guy reminds me of someone I would have been friends with in high school."

The hands of fate? Maybe so.

So, I wrote back to him, but I asked how he found me. I am not easy to find on facebook, and I like it that way, and I just couldn't figure out how he knew my name. So he writes back the next day (after being able to view my page and see that I have a boyfriend) and I quote, "Well, to be honest, I knew your name was Allison from class, and there are 170 Allison's on Facebook, so it was worth a shot. Plus, I like your smile."

At this point, I was not sure whether to be flattered or think he was a stalker. Eventually, I decided to give him a chance because it really seemed to me that he was just very very shy.

I accepted his friendship on the condition that the stalker stuff stopped there and that next time he wanted to talk to a girl, he just said "hello."

The fateful next Friday (when we have discussion and only a day after the prior events) I walked in late, and luckily the only desk open was across the room and behind a rather large coed, which meant I could easily hide from him while appearing that I was just paying attention in class. After an agonizing hour, the bell rang and I watched him walk out of the room. Whew! Home Free!!!!

Guess again, so he waited for me and grabbed my sleeve on the way out. I am pretty sure I looked like a tomato, and he muttered something about it being awkward, and then I started to walk away stumbling over something along the lines of, "I don't know what to tell you." He followed me for a bit, and I am sure mumbled something else, and my last words went something like," Eagdha."

Honestly the most awkward encounter of my life.

I apologize for the long posting, but if I had posted this as it was occurring (like a good blogger would have) this would have been two or three posts, so bear with me.

As soon as I got home, I felt horrible about the whole thing, and Becky, being the good friend she is thought it was the funniest story she had heard in awhile, which made me even more embarassed. I shot him an email apologizing for what happened, and he responded with, "never mind, forget it, I'm crazy," ultimately making me feel even worse.

From that point, I decided to give him a chance. Things didn't have to be awkward, and we still had around 6 weeks of class left. So last Friday, I sat by him in the class and tried to be friendly. I smiled, worked with him on our homework, and tried to make small talk. I have never been shot down so much in my life. Every single thing I tried to talk to him about somehow fell flat on the floor. "So, I saw that you know so-and-so." "No, I really don't."
"So, I see that you like this nerdy t.v. show I like." "Nope, not really." "Oh you like tea?" "Eh, not very much, but I do like this canned tea that you should try."

The whole hour went about like this, and then after he decided to walk with me because his class was in the same direction. Again, roadkill conversation. At one point he said, "You sure laughed a lot in class today." What am I even supposed to say to that? I thought, "maybe he would like to hear my side of this whole awkward story." So, I told him about thinking he and I could have been friends in high school, but before I even finished he said, "Nope, I don't think so."

Wait? You are now telling me, a person you really don't even know, that we couldn't have been friends in high school? WTF?

By the time the day was over, he had posted "lol" on my wall.

Of course after discussing this with the boy, he tells me this guy sounds like an asshole. Jealous much?

But after that, I felt like he was just making fun of me. So, I told him that and he writes back that he thinks it is all very funny. Yeah, see if I put any more effort into becoming your friend.

Next lecture, he finds me, and gives me some of aforementioned canned tea. I thanked him, but didn't drink it. I really didn't want to talk with him. The next day, when I actually decided to consume the canned tea, Becky again makes fun. And, the tea tasted like grass. Far closer to the way green tea really tastes, but still...grass is no good. As I sat there and sipped my grass juice all hour, every drop just made me more and more angry at this kid.

Now I am fairly sure that this is not going to be a lasting friendship.

At least the boy is happy about that.