Spirit in the Sky

Yesterday, I received the strangest thing in the mail. It was a think envelope printed on the outside about Jesus, a mysterious church, and the power of prayer. Now, I am not going to lie, my consistent curiosity about religion got the best of me and I opened it.

The contents were even more strange than I could have imagined. Inside, it contained a paper prayer blanket with an optical illusion of Jesus that opened and closed its eyes, a prayer checklist that would tell the church what you needed, a sealed prophecy, and elaborate instructions as to how to make all your worldly desires come to you.

It was asking me to pray while kneeling on the rug and then sleep with the rug under my bed before sending it back to the church in a prepaid envelope so that the rug, now filled with the power of prayer, could be sent on to another needy person.

Okay, I am not stupid enough to believe the testimonials (I was blessed with $46, 888.20 after using a Saint Matthew's Prayer Rug), but I really wanted to know what this was all about, and I was tempted to return it just to see what happened next. Also, the 20 cents was a really nice touch.

I am sure that this isn't the decision that would bring on the bolt of lightening, but today I failed to rely on God and Googled it to find that there is no Saint Matthew's church, no clergy to receive my prayers for health and wealth. Turns out that this letter is a lucrative scam run by a man named Ewing who has made over $26 million dollars by playing on people's superstitions. And on top of that, all of his income is tax free because all income is by donation only. Although my letter never mentioned a monetary "seed" to prove my faith, apparently the next few letters send other useless trinkets such as wafers, wool, and scraps of cloth for which "God" expects a great and pricey foundation to answer your prayers.

If using people's emotions isn't horrible enough, Ewing uses address databases to target the poor and uneducated.

And yet, in the end as I shake my head and think, what kind of devil could use these conditions to his personal advantage, I know that it isn't that far from legitimate churches today. Joel Osteen might even be able to pick up a few tips.

Auld Lang Syne

When it comes to New Year's resolutions, tenacity is obviously not my thing. Despite this, I'm still pretty proud of myself for only going 11 days without a post. Yippie...*quiet self celebration at work as to not turn heads.*

Anyway, I got to thinking about New Year's resolutions. People make them and then famously break them. I mean, it is wonderful that everyone sits down and thinks of a way to improve their lives, be it for health, religion, charity or some other insert way to wellness here. Unfortunately, the exact nature of the New Year's resolution is the running joke that no one ever keeps them. Really, these proclamations of change are just beaten down by the expectation that you won't keep it up. It is like having the easiest excuse for not being all that you know you can be.

I want to meet one person, just one who stuck to their resolution. It isn't because we are bad people. I think we really want to change. I think we are incredible creatures of habit that chose laziness and routine over being proactive about anything. So, I am making a resolution to never make another New Year's resolution. When I see something in myself I know could be better, it is time to just change it, without occasion or excuse.

Complain to me next year when I make a new one.

I like big butts

Okay, after a long hiatus, I am back today. Only for a rant. But at least I am back. New Year's Resolution: Post at least twice a week.

Why is it that I can't spend just one night alone with the Boy without him being like, "okay, lets have sex now." Of course he usually uses forceful kisses and phrases such as "do you want to go to bed now?" and the lovely one he used this morning "I couldn't stop thinking about making love to you all hour." And then he just expects it to happen. Every time. And if it doesn't, he gets really pissy and stops talking to me.

Today, after this happened, I just walked out. No more words. He didn't try to come after me. I am not sure what this means, but I am just tired of there being this expectation that every time we are alone, it is time for sex.

If anyone out there can explain this behavior to me, please do. And don't just say it's because he is a man, because for the first two years we dated it wasn't like this at all.

Ugh, help.