Lazy Eye

So, it's been awhile, but I have had the most awesome summer ever and haven't had time to write much on here. I never thought a summer in the States would rival that of Holland, but I have made some awesome friends and done a million things. My breakup with the Boy was a very hard thing to do in May, but it turned out okay. He is making a name for himself in a new city, and I hope to be doing the same soon. I have good and bad days thinking of it, but the last two months have been clouded by another very very nice man.

So, fun new guy, until I can think of something more fitting, has been my friend for a few years now, and in one week where my ex tried to make out with me, I made another man's birthday a very happy one, and I was on my way home for my oldest friend's wedding, fun new guy decides it would be a good idea to drunkenly tell me he likes me and in no uncertain terms wants me. Normally I would have ignored this, but he made it very hard to ignore. When I got home, I told him that despite my better judgment I was willing to try dating him for the summer, but we both had to understand that I was leaving in August. He told me he understood. Ha!

The next day I was practically throwing myself at him, and he did nothing....nothing. I was more than confused. If you have seen the movie Just Friends (and I'm sorry if you have) then you can completely visualize exactly my situation. But he came to his senses and neither of us could have imagined this summer any better. At first Becky was calling what we had "trouble" because it was obvious fun new guy was head over heals, but now she calls it "double trouble" because she's sure we are both way over our heads. I've since met his family, who has told me that now that they've found me, they won't let me go. Everything has been so fast, but so perfect. We get along way too well.

So my story for the day is the simple word "love." I've wanted to say it. I've thought about saying it. I've even felt like I might burst if I don't, but I held back knowing that I was moving and it was probably a bad idea. Am I just infatuated? Can things be this good for real? Are things only this good because I am moving in a month? So I haven't said it. I haven't dared to let myself go that far.

Last night however, I'm not sure what happened. I know I didn't bring myself to say it, but it was late and we were both tired from "adult" activities and I am pretty sure he did. The problem is, we were both fading in and out of the world of sleep and I really can't be sure whether or not it was real or I dreamed it. I feel stupid, and I wish I really could remember, but now I'm afraid to say it myself in case I did dream it and he'll be like, "WTF?" you were just a summer fuck.

I guess we'll see.

And on a completely different note, my asshole friend decided to show me 2 girls 1 cup reaction videos knowing full well that I have more curiosity than any housecat, so of course I had to look up the original video. He will pat for this. He will.

All around me

Can someone please remind me that I'm alive because I am having a hard time breathing. I haven't felt this fragile in a very long time.

I just may have made the worst decision of my entire life. Let the self hatred blossom and the destructive behaviors begin.

Fa, Ra, Ra, Ra, Ra

It is quite possible that God is sending us a message. It is possible that we just have bad luck. But, holidays seem to never work out for my family. When I was seven, I gave my grandfather shingles on Christmas. I didn't know it at the time; all I knew was that I itched and couldn't go sledding with my cousins. A couple years later, he fell ill and we celebrated in March because we just couldn't make it work until then. We met at a restaurant dressed in Santa sweaters and opened gifts, Christmas carols courtesy of the house pianist. Another year, my grandmother was in the hospital, losing her fingers and toes. No places were open to eat except Grand Star China. Fa, Ra, Ra, Ra, Ra indeed. The list goes on: Easters in nursing homes, birthdays spent alone, Valentine's days with chocolates left lonely on porches.

This year, my grandmother's cousin had a stroke on Good Friday and died late in the night on Easter. Now, it seems, the only way we are able to spend any time together is in the car on the way to funerals. I couldn't say that my family is the holiest family on Earth, but nor could I say that we don't value what God has given us. We try to make time, to respect what it means to be a family. So why does it always seem to work this way?

Next year, it will be Hanukkah with the Kranks for us. We will not be intimidated!

On a different point of interest, the posters of Cuteoverload really need to get laid! I am getting mildly creeped out by the constant captioning of baby animals with things like "Hey Baby" and "Lets unwind, Baby." I do not want to think about dogs seducing women, or ducks hitting on well, other ducks. Let the madness end!

I Remember Learning How to Dive

So, I am one of those people that is really all for doing something until it actually gets here. I believe I want to lead an outrageous life until it comes knocking, and then all I want to do is curl back up in my comfortable little hole I've created for myself and tell life to go away. I make myself believe that I am not happy doing what I am doing, so I pursue something else and am usually proud of myself when I actively work toward it, and then I get scared to death. "Okay, nevermind! I'm happy! I take it back!"

This has happened to me many times, the worst of which being when I decided to apply for an internship in Holland. I was terrifically excited about it when I got accepted, and even up until the week prior to my flight out. When it came to the night before, however, if certain people hadn't forced me to keep packing, I am sure I would have spilled all the contents of my luggage on my bedroom floor and gripped the doorframe as tight as I could. Looking back, I am really glad I went through with it. The best night of my short life happened over there.

But here I go again, climbing up the high dive with every intention of jumping off when I get to the top. I am just waiting for the day I panick and the lifeguards in my life won't let me turn back. Will I be happy? Will I make friends? Am I really Ph.D. material?

I am sending my acceptance in tomorrow, and I am sick with fear that this will turn out to be the wrong choice. I am leaving my home, my friends, the Boy, and I am not sure why right at this moment.

I am going through with all the steps now, but when it comes down to the last possible moment, I am going to need a hell of a push to get me to realize that splashing into the water really won't hurt so bad after all.

How Will I Laugh Tomorrow

So, I showed my art major roommate that card and said, "What is wrong with this?"
Her response: "Yeah, that is really terrible photo quality."
Oh my.....

First Time in a Long Time

So ladies and jellybeans, it has been over a year since I blogged on this site. I am very sorry for such a long hiatus, and I could give any number of excuses (school work, social life, new episodes of Ugly Betty), but in reality I am just lazy sometimes. I really hope to pick this up again, as hard as that might be for me. See New Year's resolution 2008. I enjoy writing this pseudo-diary for all-y'all, and I see that I had one precious subscriber right when I faded out last time.

I will ask the almighty internet gods for forgiveness in my time of weakness and maybe one day another subscriber will eek through that door and see what I have to say. But until then, I will write into cyberspace with no direction or expectation.

Now that I have made this vow of bloggertude, on to the good stuff.

I am ending my career as an undergraduate in just a few short weeks, and for some reason everyone thinks I need a job of some kind for some reason. Clinging to the last thread of hope to never grow up yet still keep food on my plate, I decided to apply to graduate school. The whole process has been unfortunately stressful, but I think the hard part is over now.

This past weekend, I took a very speedy trip out to New Jersey to visit Rutgers. I was impressed that they had a joint program with the medical school, and the proximity to New York City and Philly seemed perfect. Not so. I new this was not going to go well for me when the first words out of one student's mouth were, "I can't imagine living anywhere else but New Jersey. Everywhere else people are just too nice." I should have walked out then. The rest of the trip was about that great, being told that they were required to show people smiling in our photo presentation, that you had to drive everywhere because you had to use at least three of four campuses, and that the students were required to take nearly as many credits as the undergrads. No one seemed all that happy to be there.

Unhappy maybe, but unintelligent no. Today, I get a card in the mail from them and it in no way indicated whether or not I got in to their school. It was just a picture of some of the faculty on the front and inside it said, "We hope you are as excited about the Molecular Biosciences Graduate Programs!" As excited as what, may I ask?

And they WANT me to want to be there? Sorry NYC but you just aren't worth it.

Spirit in the Sky

Yesterday, I received the strangest thing in the mail. It was a think envelope printed on the outside about Jesus, a mysterious church, and the power of prayer. Now, I am not going to lie, my consistent curiosity about religion got the best of me and I opened it.

The contents were even more strange than I could have imagined. Inside, it contained a paper prayer blanket with an optical illusion of Jesus that opened and closed its eyes, a prayer checklist that would tell the church what you needed, a sealed prophecy, and elaborate instructions as to how to make all your worldly desires come to you.

It was asking me to pray while kneeling on the rug and then sleep with the rug under my bed before sending it back to the church in a prepaid envelope so that the rug, now filled with the power of prayer, could be sent on to another needy person.

Okay, I am not stupid enough to believe the testimonials (I was blessed with $46, 888.20 after using a Saint Matthew's Prayer Rug), but I really wanted to know what this was all about, and I was tempted to return it just to see what happened next. Also, the 20 cents was a really nice touch.

I am sure that this isn't the decision that would bring on the bolt of lightening, but today I failed to rely on God and Googled it to find that there is no Saint Matthew's church, no clergy to receive my prayers for health and wealth. Turns out that this letter is a lucrative scam run by a man named Ewing who has made over $26 million dollars by playing on people's superstitions. And on top of that, all of his income is tax free because all income is by donation only. Although my letter never mentioned a monetary "seed" to prove my faith, apparently the next few letters send other useless trinkets such as wafers, wool, and scraps of cloth for which "God" expects a great and pricey foundation to answer your prayers.

If using people's emotions isn't horrible enough, Ewing uses address databases to target the poor and uneducated.

And yet, in the end as I shake my head and think, what kind of devil could use these conditions to his personal advantage, I know that it isn't that far from legitimate churches today. Joel Osteen might even be able to pick up a few tips.

Auld Lang Syne

When it comes to New Year's resolutions, tenacity is obviously not my thing. Despite this, I'm still pretty proud of myself for only going 11 days without a post. Yippie...*quiet self celebration at work as to not turn heads.*

Anyway, I got to thinking about New Year's resolutions. People make them and then famously break them. I mean, it is wonderful that everyone sits down and thinks of a way to improve their lives, be it for health, religion, charity or some other insert way to wellness here. Unfortunately, the exact nature of the New Year's resolution is the running joke that no one ever keeps them. Really, these proclamations of change are just beaten down by the expectation that you won't keep it up. It is like having the easiest excuse for not being all that you know you can be.

I want to meet one person, just one who stuck to their resolution. It isn't because we are bad people. I think we really want to change. I think we are incredible creatures of habit that chose laziness and routine over being proactive about anything. So, I am making a resolution to never make another New Year's resolution. When I see something in myself I know could be better, it is time to just change it, without occasion or excuse.

Complain to me next year when I make a new one.

I like big butts

Okay, after a long hiatus, I am back today. Only for a rant. But at least I am back. New Year's Resolution: Post at least twice a week.

Why is it that I can't spend just one night alone with the Boy without him being like, "okay, lets have sex now." Of course he usually uses forceful kisses and phrases such as "do you want to go to bed now?" and the lovely one he used this morning "I couldn't stop thinking about making love to you all hour." And then he just expects it to happen. Every time. And if it doesn't, he gets really pissy and stops talking to me.

Today, after this happened, I just walked out. No more words. He didn't try to come after me. I am not sure what this means, but I am just tired of there being this expectation that every time we are alone, it is time for sex.

If anyone out there can explain this behavior to me, please do. And don't just say it's because he is a man, because for the first two years we dated it wasn't like this at all.

Ugh, help.

Take a Walk on the Wild Side

Had a lovely evening out last night. Bought tickets to see Jack Hanna, and had a pretty darn good time. We arrived and noticed that we were some of the only people not over 65 or under 12, or with someone over 65 or under 12. I think we were more excited than most of them anyway.

The show was fun and included lots of animals even I had never heard of. *gasp*
He even brought out a cheetah, which was amazing!!!!!

We were going to try to name drop or use our feminine wiles (young bodies) to get a backstage tour, but by the time we were able to talk to Jack, they were packing up to move on to their next destination full of people over 65 and under12.

But we did meet him. EEEEEEEEEE. And he took a picture with us and also gave us autographs. The strangest part was that while we were taking the picture, he had his hand on my ass the whole time. I bet we really could have employed those wiles. Then he stopped us on our way out to tell us the many amazing things we could do besides veterinary school. Finally! Someone who agrees with us! He was a freaking art major in college.

But yeah, whole evening outing was a blast!

Fear of Drowning

One more for today. This one is on a much more serious note, so if you read my blog just for the snarky ones, go ahead and skip this.

Halloween is a big campus event, and this year it coincided with Homecoming, so parties were numerous. Becky, the Boy and I dressed up (girls in our slutty-best) and went to an apartment party that people in Becky's drama club were hosting. Now, I really enjoy these people, and have had great fun with them in the past, which is why I hope that nights occurances don't ruin future outings with them for me.

It was a college party, so there was plenty to drink, but I made one vodka and soda and sucked on that for about two hours of the night. I had eaten a big lunch, and a small dinner, but party food always gets me salivating, so I had some of that as well.

The night was full of mingling and madness, and I had a nice time talking with all sorts of new people, not knowing that this was probably mistake number one. Becky and the Boy also mingled and I was often left to my own conversations, which is totally fine with me.

After I finished drink #1, I decided I would make something else. I didn't feel drunk at all, and not knowing how late it was, thought that it would be nice to have one more. When the party broke up, I had only had about half of it, and I felt bad for not finishing something, so I brought it with me. Likely another mistake.

The Boy and I walked home, and here is where things get shady. I started not remembering things all the sudden, slurred my speech, started leaving my room for no reason, and finally started talking about things I had no business talking about, some of which wasn't even true. Then I started to cry, and I couldn't stop myself, and I kept talking but it made less and less sense. I guess I kept talking and doing things, but I was completely blacked out. I had no control of myself at all. I guess the Boy made me lie down and then I passed out, but I really remember none of this.

The next day, not only did I feel horrible about what had happened, but I was also constantly dizzy. No headache, no stomach ache, or any other of my usual hangover symptoms.

None of it made sense. I only had a drink and a half. I had eaten. I wasn't hungover in the usual sense. I had no control over myself. Something was wrong.

I am pretty darn sure that I was drugged that night. It scares me to death that I had no control, and I am not sure what would have happened to me if the Boy wasn't with me. At first, I didn't want to tell him or anyone what had happened. I didn't want to believe it myself, and I feared his reaction. After I eventually did explain to him what I thought had happened, he told me more of what I had done and how that makes a lot of sense. Originally he hadn't believed me that night when I told him that I didn't know what was happening to me because I had only had two drinks. He thought I had just been so drunk that I had forgotten that I had done a bunch of shots. I know I was lucid until after I made the second drink.

It is hard for me now because I know that those same people will be at other parties. One guy that I spent quite awhile talking to and who was there while I was making drink #2 goes to another school, so I assumed I would never see him again. But now he is coming for another friend's party. I know I can't just be scared of everyone now, but it took one slip up, that was all. Somewhere along the line I did something stupid, and I could have been raped because of it.

I talked with my roommates about it, and I think that two of them really don't believe that this is what happened. They just sat there and told me all the other things it could have been. One of my other roommates just said nothing, but one seemed to accept that this might have really occurred. I understand that no one wants to believe that this could happen to someone they know, but it is hard knowing that they don't want to believe it enough to actually not believe you.

Maybe I am wrong, and that I just somehow got really drunk on my own. But I really do believe that this happened to me. I wish someone would just tell me they believe me. I am not even sure that the Boy really believes. He is angry that even though he was there, something like that could still happen, but now, "for his own piece of mind" he seems to be trying to tell me who it could and couldn't have been. He is also trying to get me to not go out. It is just hard when people don't understand.

It is something that is hard for me to deal with, but I do feel lucky that nothing else happened to me. Now it just comes down to believing in myself and not focusing too much on the possibilities.

Choke on a Cock

I really do want to get into this blog thing, but honestly, when I come home from class and exams and homework, do I really want to sit down an write something? Usually Food Network or very shallow reality shows win this battle. But I have had some very interesting things happen lately.

There has been this new guy in my life. No, I am not saying that I am replacing the boy...not even close. This guy is in one of my classes and just happens to be in my discussion. One day, I come home from discussion to find an email from someone I don't know that says, "I am that guy in Asian Myth that asks all those questions. Want to be friends." Personally, I am not a fan of this approach because after like 8 weeks of class, he had never once even said hello, and now he just looks like a facebook creeper.

At first I was a little afraid that it was this obnoxious Russian, who I can't stand, but upon further investigation I discovered that it was this Asian that always sits with a pack of other Asians. Usually, I would just ignore the request or say no, but I was intrigued due to the fact that on that very evening in class I had actually thought to myself, "That guy reminds me of someone I would have been friends with in high school."

The hands of fate? Maybe so.

So, I wrote back to him, but I asked how he found me. I am not easy to find on facebook, and I like it that way, and I just couldn't figure out how he knew my name. So he writes back the next day (after being able to view my page and see that I have a boyfriend) and I quote, "Well, to be honest, I knew your name was Allison from class, and there are 170 Allison's on Facebook, so it was worth a shot. Plus, I like your smile."

At this point, I was not sure whether to be flattered or think he was a stalker. Eventually, I decided to give him a chance because it really seemed to me that he was just very very shy.

I accepted his friendship on the condition that the stalker stuff stopped there and that next time he wanted to talk to a girl, he just said "hello."

The fateful next Friday (when we have discussion and only a day after the prior events) I walked in late, and luckily the only desk open was across the room and behind a rather large coed, which meant I could easily hide from him while appearing that I was just paying attention in class. After an agonizing hour, the bell rang and I watched him walk out of the room. Whew! Home Free!!!!

Guess again, so he waited for me and grabbed my sleeve on the way out. I am pretty sure I looked like a tomato, and he muttered something about it being awkward, and then I started to walk away stumbling over something along the lines of, "I don't know what to tell you." He followed me for a bit, and I am sure mumbled something else, and my last words went something like," Eagdha."

Honestly the most awkward encounter of my life.

I apologize for the long posting, but if I had posted this as it was occurring (like a good blogger would have) this would have been two or three posts, so bear with me.

As soon as I got home, I felt horrible about the whole thing, and Becky, being the good friend she is thought it was the funniest story she had heard in awhile, which made me even more embarassed. I shot him an email apologizing for what happened, and he responded with, "never mind, forget it, I'm crazy," ultimately making me feel even worse.

From that point, I decided to give him a chance. Things didn't have to be awkward, and we still had around 6 weeks of class left. So last Friday, I sat by him in the class and tried to be friendly. I smiled, worked with him on our homework, and tried to make small talk. I have never been shot down so much in my life. Every single thing I tried to talk to him about somehow fell flat on the floor. "So, I saw that you know so-and-so." "No, I really don't."
"So, I see that you like this nerdy t.v. show I like." "Nope, not really." "Oh you like tea?" "Eh, not very much, but I do like this canned tea that you should try."

The whole hour went about like this, and then after he decided to walk with me because his class was in the same direction. Again, roadkill conversation. At one point he said, "You sure laughed a lot in class today." What am I even supposed to say to that? I thought, "maybe he would like to hear my side of this whole awkward story." So, I told him about thinking he and I could have been friends in high school, but before I even finished he said, "Nope, I don't think so."

Wait? You are now telling me, a person you really don't even know, that we couldn't have been friends in high school? WTF?

By the time the day was over, he had posted "lol" on my wall.

Of course after discussing this with the boy, he tells me this guy sounds like an asshole. Jealous much?

But after that, I felt like he was just making fun of me. So, I told him that and he writes back that he thinks it is all very funny. Yeah, see if I put any more effort into becoming your friend.

Next lecture, he finds me, and gives me some of aforementioned canned tea. I thanked him, but didn't drink it. I really didn't want to talk with him. The next day, when I actually decided to consume the canned tea, Becky again makes fun. And, the tea tasted like grass. Far closer to the way green tea really tastes, but still...grass is no good. As I sat there and sipped my grass juice all hour, every drop just made me more and more angry at this kid.

Now I am fairly sure that this is not going to be a lasting friendship.

At least the boy is happy about that.

Bedroom Scene

So, just a funny story.

A few weeks ago I was taking care of some pets that belong to my friend's girlfriend while they went away for the long weekend. She had two cats, a hamster, and a fish in a one bedroom apartment. The cats hate each other, one cat has a bladder infection, and the hamster is a bitch.

So, because of the sick kitty, I had to stop by the complex twice a day. I was told that they were leaving late Friday and getting back late Monday, so I had to come in once on Monday as well. Over the weekend, I had fun playing with the cats when they weren't trying to kill each other, and I was trying to make sure that everything was always in order when I left each day.

Monday morning comes, and as I am walking up to the building, I can hear a television coming from an apartment upstairs that I thought was hers, but being the silly girl that I am, I just brushed it off. They weren't supposed to be back for a whole day, and Mike would have called if they came home early, right?

Of course, I walk upstairs and let myself in only to view legs hanging off the end of the bed as I opened the door. Not knowing what to do in a situation like this, I backed out quietly and knocked. How awkward to let myself into this girl's apartment while they are inside...and naked. I don't even know her very well.

So then, to make it worse, Mike answers the door in nothing but a sheet. I quickly handed him the key and mumbled something about the cats meekly and then scuttled off.

Moral of the story, unless you want a slightly embarassing but hilarious situation, always tell your pet sitter if you are coming home early.

So yeah, this could be a much better story, but I am lacking the blessings of the snarky writing gods. Next episode of Allison's ridiculous adventures: Vending machines are evil.
It will be more entertaining, I swear.

Bible club

Am I a terrible person because I remember my new, lisping coworkers name by saying Jethica in my head everytime I pass her?

Fallin'

I fell this way again and I don't know why. Maybe it's because he's not around, maybe it's because life seems different now that I've come home. I want to wake up and be beautiful. I know it won't happen, and I have started this vicious cycle of restraint, overeating, feeling more lousey about myself and restraining even more. I am determined to lose it all this time.

But why?

I have friends and a boy and a family who love me. I do well for myself. I have done wonderful things.

So why?

I look in the mirror and hate what I see. I thought I was over this. I thought I had gained control. Or maybe I lost it and I am trying to get it back.

I will be in control.

You're Quiet

Okay, so I know that I have been especially lame with this blog lately. I am not sure if I really have an excuse except for the fact that I love sleep.

So, I will be posting some pictures from Paris and Italy. Being back in the States now, it feels like it was all a dream.

I also have a few good stories from the start of the school year. Living with four girls is proving interesting. My birthday was mega rad and involved me sporting an "I'm legal" shirt all day long.

Hopefully you will hear from me shortly. Like the lyrics say, I did not die, I am not there.

I Could Be Dreaming

Originally posted 7/2/07.

Berlin was phenomenal!!!!! I am in love with that city.

We caught an overnight bus that got us there early Thursday morning. After some wonderful help from the guy sitting next to Sam, we were able to easily find the hostel. The transportation system is very very well done. We checked in and decided to go on a walking tour. Best decision we made because it led to everything else on the trip.

So, we went with a group of other travelers from the hostel and walked around Berlin for most of the day learning a ton of history that by walking around be ourselves, we would never have realized. It is such a cool city; a grat mix of old and new. Because of all the bombings and political turnovers, it has been rebuilt so many times. They are still continuing to build. It was nice to take a trip without expectations or any plan. We were able to do whatever we felt like, and we never felt like we were rushed. That is how all trips should be I think. If you maybe miss one or two things because you didn't end up with time, so be it.

We saw many great things including the holocaust memorial, checkpoint charlie, and museum island.

After the tour was over, we walked back to see all the things we walked by only briefly before. We also went to a few museums and a beautiful church.

Thursday night, we attempted to find places to go out on our own. Failure. We really aren't very good at that.

The next day, we decided to do some more sight-seeing on our own and do some shopping. We went to an open Turkish market, and it was great. Vendors let you taste the foods, clothing and jewelry are sold quite cheaply, and it is just bustling and noisey. We got some nice olives and pesto spreads and ate lunch by a river. We were visited by some rats, but that didn't really phase us. We went to Parliament and the Sony Center as well.

That night we went on a pub crawl run by the same company that ran the walking tour. I am not sure we could have had a better time. We met so many great people from all over the world. Everyone has a story, and most people who travel are generally free thinkers. The last stop was a club that had many types of music and atmospheres. I think this was my favorite part because everyone just danced the night away.

We hauled ourselves out of bed Saturday for a tour of Sachsenhausen, a concentration camp in a nearby town. As much as I have read about it, it is never the same as actually being there and seeing it for yourself. Most of the camp has been leveled, but there are many reconstructions and museums on site. Even being there though, it was hard to imagine the horror. I just still can't understand how something like this can happen in society.

We had so much fun the night before, that we decided to do the pub crawl again. We met a brother and sister from L.A. that were traveling together earlier that day, so we were excited to see them again that night. We met some of their friends they had met in traveling, and together, we just chatted and laughed all night. We also got to know some of our guides a little better. They are all really cool people, a lot of whom moved to Berlin after seeing it on a visit much like our own.

After seeing the sunrise, I was pretty pumped for another day of wandering. Our original plan was to go to Potsdam, but because of when our bus left, we decided just to stay in the city. We found a random flea market with all kinds of strange things and a lot of war memorabilia. We also just wandered around the city a bit more and found the olympic stadium. It was nice to have a relaxing day.

We are back to cold, rainy, dreary Wageningen for a few more days. I start bright and early tomorrow working with assays in the cell physiology department. They took me back. I was suprised. We have dinner plans with friends tomorrow night and then with Rene and his family Wednesday night. Everything is really coming to a close, and it is going to be a busy couple of weeks.

California Dreamin'

Originally posted 6/26/07.

Honestly, I just don't understand the Netherlands. You are walking outside in the sunshine and suddenly there is a crack of thunder and it is pouring on you. Two days in a row now this has happened. So I come back to my room looking like a drowned rat, and quietly change clothes before my neighbors notice that I got caught in the rain again. Most of my pants are hanging to dry right now. Pretty soon I will have to go naked.

Really all the rain wouldn't be so bad, but it has been below 60 here every day for at least a week. I really miss hot weather and sun tans. The other day, 70 felt really warm!

I have more pictures from our last zoo day, as promised. They are pretty funny really.

Yes, we rode the train and a pelican tried to eat my camera. Also, just a crazy bike we saw.

This past weekend was wonderful, despite the rain. We went to a nice park called De Hoge Veluwe. It is a large national park with wildlife preserves, grasslands, sand dunes, and pine forests. I wish I had gone around the park more, but I spent most of my time touring their superb art museum. It was really something. The set up was very well composed, and even though there were plenty of tourists, I never felt crowded. It was really a chance to enjoy the art. Beautiful Van Goghs, Rodins, and Monets filled rooms and rooms of this building. Plus, surrounding the building was a giant sculpture garden. They have over 100 sculptures out there and the paths take you through the woods and by nice ponds and fields. One of the sculptures actually floated and another had a way into it, so when you climbed the stairs you were in a giant plastic desert of sorts. I would be walking down the path and until noticing a little indicator sign, would not even see that the tree next to me wasn't a tree at all, but rather a brass statue.

They had everything from Renaissance to Modern. Sometimes though, I just couldn't see the artistry in the art. At one point in the museum, I saw a sign on the wall for a piece entitled, "meter." I looked and looked around me and nearly attributed it to the piece being out on loan until I saw two men pointing at this thing on the wall. That was it. It was just a stick of aluminum stuck to the wall. Is that really visionary? Is that art? I just don't see it.

Some of the newer pieces were really intriguing. Today, people try to make statements with their art, which accounts for some really interesting work. One woman had taken photographs of women naked and bound down by household items. The titles were all things like "Is a women just a stereotype" and such. Some others I found interesting were photos of random objects placed on record turntables and photographed while spinning, and then there were some where the artist had photographed bouquets of flowers, which seemed simple at first, until you realized that the flowers in the picture were photographs of flowers that had been cut out and arranged perfectly to look like real flowers. No cameras allowed though, so sorry, no pictures.

So, as is obvious, I spent a lot of time there, and I really enjoyed myself. Sam wasn't interested in the museum, so she rode around the park by herself for awhile and then went home. After the art, I also rode around part of the park. This park just has free bikes for anyone to take and use that you just leave wherever if you are finished. The first bike I had was way too small, so it was pretty comical to ride, but the second one was just right for cruising around the grasslands. I took a few pictures, but a big black monster of a raincloud was threatening to eat me, so I had to head to the park gates to catch the bus.

When I got to the bus stop (actually it was a little van that carted people to the real bus stop), I asked the information booth when it would arrive. He smiled and told me 20 minutes. I was a bit disappointed that I hadn't spent that time in the park, but it began to rain and I squatted on the sidewalk. Twenty minutes past, 30, 40, and then after almost an hour, the little van came. Then I was in a rush to get home because I thought our neigbor was cooking dinner for us, but when I arrived, there was no sign of dinner.

We helped this Polish neighbor the night before with editing her 106 page thesis. Took 7 hours of working and chatting, but in the end she told us that she would make us dinner the next night for our troubles. Never happened. I am not bitter at all, but Sam and I did wait all night without eating. Miraculously, another neighbor knocked on my door at around 10 and commanded that Sam and I come eat because they made too much food. So instead, at around 11 we ate with 6 crazy Brazilians and a Romanian. Great food, but it was almost all meat and cheese. I am pretty sure he invited us because the weekend before he forgot to pick us up for a party when he said we should wait for him. But hey, free dinner at the price of helping with the dishes. I'll take that any day.

This week we have been analyzing our data from the zoo. We have become more and more apathetic about this course every day. It was nice to partake in, but putting forth a lot of effort for a class you aren't getting credit from just seems pointless. And it has been gloomy and depressingly drizzly, which does not encourage us to bike across town at 8 a.m. It is all over tomorrow, when we present our project. There is an exam for the class on Friday, but we are skipping it (yes, we okayed it with our advisor, and no we aren't going to get in trouble from the University or get kicked out of the dorm (Dad)). Instead we are taking a very long bus to spend a few days in Berlin. Yes, we are slackers; we know.

Banana Pancakes

Originally posted 6/20/07.

I am alive after a week of observations at the zoo. However, I think if I ever hear the words "Apies Apies Apies! Baby apie! Baby baby baby!" ever again I will cry. I am not sure how people ever become grade school teachers. I would trip the kids on the playground and laugh.

After sitting through sun and rain...too much rain...we now have enough data to hopefully complete the last part of the course. Today we had some extra fun though, some part of the course and some that could have gotten us kicked out of the zoo, and had a nice drink provided by our professors. We got lucky the past two days with the sun, but there were some very cold and rainy days here that make us miss lounge chairs at the pool.

We finally got tired of staring at monkeys all day and decided to ride the train and play on the jungle gyms, which were huge! We also made fools of ourselves and posed with statues banking on the idea that we will never see these people again.....let's hope. On our way to a certain sealion statue we came across some pelicans that had escaped. I wish I had more than this one picture because they were trying to eat our cameras and shoes, but I will have to get one from Sam later.




For today, we had to make a prop to use while we acted like our animal. We don't have a whole lot to work with, so here is our very sad infant (it's arm and leg have fallen off at this point) that we made of cardboard and twist ties. The supervisors thought it was hilarious. Sam may have gotten a little too into it though, climbing a tree and shrieking for our video portion. I am not being sarcastic this time.

Most of our time has been spent going into this class, but on our off time I have been snapping pictures of the surrounding animals. The camel pit was right behind us. I really hate camels. Also, I wanted to include this picture of the raccoon exhibit. They are exotic here. See Mom, someone appreciates their existence.

I am going to miss that bike ride every morning. There is a giant hill we have to climb and embarassingly, I only made it up all the way once. My friend tried to comfort me by saying, "I have seen a few old people who have been riding for years not be able to make it up." Yeah, that's supposed to make me feel better. Now I know that I am beat out by everyone except really old people. Coming down the hill, we just pray that we don't hit a stick or rock, because we would just fly out of control. I ride my brake down some, but Sam just lets go. She is brave. A funny thing happened on my way home the other night though that made Sam worry that I had caught a rock on my way down and was lying in a ditch somewhere. I got stuck behind a cow crossing. To me, this was completely surreal, and I turned laughing to the person behind me, but she just glared at me like I was the crazy one. Apparently cow crossings are a normal occurance here.

Our baby lives for now, and I am glad we were able to help the zookeepers out this week with our updates. Today the other females wouldn't let the mom take her, which is how the last one died, so we are hoping this was a one day occurance. I am going to miss the little bugger. She just gets cuter and more inquisitive every day. Too bad we can't justs stop in whenever we want. We think we may start name dropping and see where that gets us. Worked for Sam at the Dolphinarium. She got a backstage tour.



We like to come home and have a nice relaxing dinner, but the other night Brazilians took over our kitchen, so we decided to investigate this Chinese place we had been eyeing since day one. Adventure and a half! The menu is in Chinese and Dutch, so we asked some questions and thought we had what we wanted. Sam's wasn't so bad, but apparently egg roll means giant, bean sprout filled wrap with eggs, bacon, and mystery meat bits. Here is what it looks like. If you can't tell, I was excited. Maybe scared is more like it.

Even if we can't get a decent meal, the evenings are worth it if only for this:

We're Going to Be Friends

Originally posted 6/13/07.

We've been very busy with classwork lately, so I used this past weekend just to relax a bit. It was nice to go to the market on Saturday and get some fresh fruit and bread. I really like the attitude of this town. Everyone is very relaxed, very easy going. It is nice to just walk through the center and see all the families out together. I may have said this before, but quality of life is much more important than quantity. There is no such thing as take home work here, and people dedicate a lot of time to just be with people. It may seem like a simple, quaint way of living, but I really enjoy it.

Friday, I had a nice dinner (not sure all of what I ate) with Jochem and his roommate. Finally, I get to chat with people my own age! We talked about anything and everything, but they were very interested in how I perceived the Dutch and they were quite willing to tell me what they thought of the U.S. There is no love for the U.S. here. None at all. But we ate outside on the roof, so I was able to see the town in a whole new way. Then it started to rain, so we took coffee inside. To my suprise however, we had Bible study. When in Rome, I suppose. Someday I may have a discussion of religion with them, but I felt like I should just sweep that under the rug for our first night together. They have both kept in touch this week though, and Sam and I may stop by for coffee tomorrow night, although she is not as okay with the Bible study part.

We also met a couple girls through our class that want to have us over for dinner sometime. Apparently dinner gatherings are the most common way to spend time with friends. We want to be able to cook for them in return, but when half the time you don't know what you are buying in the first place, it is difficult to make an old recipe. Opened a bag of frozen chicken breasts the other day to find out that they were already cooked.

I have been talking about politics with many people here. Sadly, the most common question is, "Is it true that Americans don't care about politics?" It is a hard question to answer because even though I follow what is happening, I know many of my friends who couldn't name the current candidate possibilities if you asked them. I am ashamed with how little I know about foriegn politics. My neighbor and I were just discussing election systems, and he knew so much about how ours worked, but I had no clue how the Italian system was. Also, it is sad that people equate certain beliefs with being American. People don't understand that the nation doesn't think as a whole and that there is quite a bit of unrest with the people right now. I have honestly been told, "Don't you know we all think your beliefs are ridiculous in Europe?" without even being asked what my beliefs are. Maybe I am just not as patriotic as I am expected to be, but I just can't connect living in a country with what someone believes.

On a different note, we have now had to rework our project twice since we thought we'd finished it. When we got to the zoo on Friday, the curator asked us to research something different, and then today we had to change most of that work. But, as it turns out, there is an infant, and we are trying to see how much time the infant is spending with each adult. Last year they lost an infant because it was "fathered to death." We are hoping the father allows this one to nurse so that it does not starve, and it seems that there is a lot of pressure on us to figure this out. We are just praying at this point that it does not die in the next few days.

Here are a few pictures of our macaques, and some other shots I got at the zoo on Friday.

P.S. I got to pet a giraffe. I am pretty excited!